Aggression refers to the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misinterpreting it, then overreacting loudly. It is also the science of turning minor inconveniences into major battles. Interestingly enough is that it is both an art and a science and everyone does have aggressive energy bottled up somewhere inside their psyche. Those that are prone towards displaying outward aggression are comfortable operating outside the guardrails of societal norms whereas those that do not, operate within the guardrails and can equally be or are more dangerous. Occasionally we act out of character courtesy of this aggressive energy. When the dust settles, our conscience will more than likely prod us towards making amends.
A proud head makes a low pillow. I learnt this the hard way at the dawn of a new year. I had little choice but to eat humble pie. Here is the scoop. I made my way to the airport one evening to pick up a relative and since I had little time at my disposal, I drove as fast as a racing cheetah and could have sworn I saw one along the way. I arrived in the nick of time and proceeded to the parking bay. I am set in my ways and one can comfortably say I am a creature of habit. However, for one reason or the other I decided to turn left as soon as I entered the bay and broke the normal pattern.
As I proceeded towards the end of the driveway, I spotted an empty parking spot in the back row towards my left side. I grinned from ear to ear and felt extremely lucky. Little did I know what lay ahead. You cannot convince a monkey that honey is sweeter than a banana. Being the case that I had made up my mind to park there, a car attempted to dissuade me from making a left turn at the end of the driveway. However, I blew past him. No sooner had I parked than a police officer casually walked towards me.
He waited patiently as I took my sweet time to alight from the vehicle. He then drew my attention to a bold sign that proudly proclaimed no left turn allowed. When it rains, it pours. My license had also expired hence I was driving on thin ice. In the blink of an eye or a turn, my new year’s day was ruined and I soon parted ways with my hard-earned cash. A right turn could have saved my skin. He grinned from ear to ear at my expense, walked away a happy man and wished me a happy new year. Happiness is infectious though mine barely lasted a minute. He casually walked away with it as I licked my wounds. When you refuse advice or in this case when you disregard blocking signals, you are like a goat who wants to lead the herd into the lion’s den.
Analyzing an altercation without an open bias is a tall order in the sense that we tend to assign more blame to the other side if we are party to it. With that said, I will let you be the judge in the encounter below and will not attempt to absolve myself from blame. One afternoon I was deeply engrossed in work. In as much as various assignments preoccupied my time, I nonchalantly went about my duties in an attempt to create order out of disarray. In the midst of the work overload, a colleague sent me some assignment and barely a minute or two later, sent a reminder. The dust had barely settled when she stood up from her desk and walked towards me.
It is common knowledge that it is not advisable to call a dog with a whip in your hand. Likewise, approaching a person with hostility or aggression will more than likely spark a negative reaction and trigger backlash that will blow up in someone’s face. She could not wait for me to get off the phone. Owing to her brute impatience, I cut off the phone conversation and opted to take the bull by the horns. I detest confrontation of any sort and those who know me well can attest to this. When push comes to shove is when I will return fire with fire because I am cognizant of the fact that a hot temper is like a loose tooth, it is best to pull it out before it starts causing trouble. We exchanged heated words and almost grabbed each other by the collar even though she was wearing a t-shirt. In the calm after the storm, we made amends and each made their way. I probably ought not to have reacted the way I did and possibly the CEO was breathing down her neck, who knows?
The need to steal someone’s thunder is a covert form of aggression and is a trick often employed by those who work within the guardrails. A dog following a lion often time thinks they are hunting together. An old retired gentle man once shared a story of what befell him in his early working career. His boss had to explain to the board why there was a significant variance between the stated and actual cost of a project within a short span of time. There were several macro-economic influences and the big honcho was unable to put two and two together.
He broke it down to his boss and expressed the plausible root cause. Clearly impressed, the boss availed to him a budget, driver, support staff and a firm deadline to deliver a report. The support staff is the proverbial dog who hunted with a lion and said they have hunted well when the lion made a kill. Submission of the report and completion of the project took place well within the timelines. However, owing to an unforeseen circumstance, the gentle man failed to make it to the presentation day. The support staff stood in his place and attempted to steal the thunder but he was clearly out of his depth and it was clear to all and sundry. The hen that laid the egg is not always the one that cackles the loudest. Therefore, in as much as he did the presentation and spoke up, everyone noted that he was not the one that did the exceptional job. He attempted to say that it is the forest that is moving, not him and they saw right through him.
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