The Law of Generational Myopia

You can teach a child to talk, but you cannot teach them to keep quiet. Such is the dilemma I had to contend with one afternoon. The bona fide member of the next generation kept me on my toes and exposed the underbelly of inter-generational dissimilarities. In as much as a new broom sweeps clean, we tend to struggle with this and acknowledging this concept does not come easy unless we have our backs against the wall. Fresh perspectives can lead to better outcomes and my son who thinks outside the box challenged me and pushed me to the proverbial wall. A thousand and one questions trickled out of his mouth. Sound intellectual reasoning backed his objections to instructions and this startled me in the sense that at his age, I was more concerned with how high I can kick the ball and to what extent I can impress the girl next door.

Silence is golden – unless you have kids, then it is just suspicious. Barely a minute or two later after escaping my line of sight, I found him in the room. Deeply engrossed in and cracking up over a set of photos he had stumbled across. No child believes their parent was once young until they find old photos with questionable fashion choices. In the old photo, I was clad in a baggy shirt and trouser that would comfortably fit two people. The hairstyle is not worth mentioning. I cringe at the thought of imagining that it indeed was me. Each generation has a unique dressing style. Interestingly enough is that the changes slowly creep up on us and become evident a decade or two later. When the music changes, so does the dance. We can barely tell the changes happening on a daily basis. A decade later is when it dawns on us that we more than likely lived in a different planet.

I had barely settled in the land of the free when things radically shifted one Tuesday morning. No sooner had we finished the morning class session than word reached us that there was an attack on US soil. We spent a few minutes glued to the screen trying to make head or tail of the situation. With Classes scrubbed, everyone made a mad dash out of campus after the school administration made the call to do so. Tension was palpable in the air and remained so for quite a while thereafter. Was glad to make it home in one piece since part of our commute led us through the capital of a supremacy group. Foreigners bore the brunt of intense dislike and the whip cracked against them thereafter.

Each generation encounters a decisive event or two that leaves an indelible imprint on their psyche. Most people in our generation became cautious as an offshoot of the aforementioned attack. In addition to the above, the subprime mortgage crisis that triggered the global financial crisis influenced us in profound ways. Several years later, I reached out to a graduate school classmate and he confided in me that when it comes to investments, he would much rather keep his money where he can see it; hanging in his closet.

Others steered clear from the housing market and rather than confronting their fear, they opted to flip fear into a virtue. Construction of houses destroys the environment, which they want nothing to do with whereas the real reason lurking beneath the surface is fear of long-term financial commitment. Peer influence can exceed parental wisdom in some instances and convincing such people to change their mind is a tall order. A child will argue that the sky is green, until their friend says it is blue. By the time a child realizes their parents were right, they will have children who think they are wrong.

Jack Handey once said, “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” An uncle who was hell bent on throwing his hat onto the ring of politics wasted no time and vocalized his displeasure with the ruling regime. His bone of contention was that the leader had overstayed in power. As a result, their generation would more than likely miss an opportunity to govern. His concern was valid and as true as steel. In theory, this ought to be the case that each generation should know when to exit the stage and hand over the reins. In practice, though things are different for the most part. Instances where a seamless transfer happens are few and far between.

Unplanned visits are often times loaded and leave a lasting inexplicable impression. One morning several decades back, I woke up and something prodded me to visit my grandfather. In as much as my schedule was jam packed, I discarded the plans and made my way to see him. Little did I know that it was destined to be the final time spent together. We buried him less than a fortnight later. I held him to high esteem and he had a way with words. At that point, I was toying with the idea of leaving the country for further studies since I had just completed high school. I ran the idea by him and he shared with me two proverbs. If a bird refuses to be caged, open the door and see how it flies. The second one being, if the chicken wants to be an eagle, let it try flying – just have salt ready for the soup. Letting go is the best way to test someone’s strength and sometimes it is best to let people learn the hard way. The rest is history; story for another day.

In closing, there is nothing new under the sun. A Babylonian tablet from 1000 BC reads “Today’s youth is rotten, evil, godless and lazy. It will never be what youth used to be, and it will never be able to preserve our culture.” Kindly raise your hand if this rings true to your ears and sounds familiar. This article has captured the dynamics in four generations. The looming battle with the next generation, the dynamics at play in my generation, my Uncle’s viewpoint and the interaction with my grandparent’s generation. With that said, inter-generational interaction is the best way to diffuse the tension between generations. Meaningful, same level and genuine interaction as opposed to the belt behind your back interaction.