When someone tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, people tend to get uncomfortable. Such a person will be relegated to the least wanted corner of preference and be avoided like a plague. On the other hand, when it dawns on us that our favorite politician isn’t who they claimed to be, we raise a storm and feel duped. We get upset when confronted with the truth and likewise, we get angry if someone hides behind a mask and tells us words that sound pleasing to our ears when in actual sense, they are nothing but lies. Such is the complexity of human nature. A while back, I set on a mission to learn the universe by studying the laws of nature and in line with the spirit of knowing the enemy and knowing thyself, I have embarked on a journey to understand human nature.
When I was a child, I spent a lot of time observing things. I did not mind one bit sitting in silence in order to get a grasp of how things work. My mother dropped me to school every day in the morning and I noted how she drove. The only thing that made my head spin was the fact that I did not understand the timing of changing gears. I broke my silence one day and asked her if there is a set time when one is supposed to engage another gear. When she said it’s not written in stone, I knew I had cracked the nut. I couldn’t wait for the weekend and when it arrived, I took a pillow out to the car when Mum was not around.
I had a twin dilemma and the pillow helped me see outside but my leg could not reach the pedal. I fooled around and somehow managed to move the car an inch. I was gratified and over the moon because I made some progress. With each passing day, I became older and the challenges vanished into thin air. Every weekend, I tried my hand at it until I felt competent enough. Courtesy of observation, I learnt to drive. It is through observation that one can pick out cues when it comes to understanding human beings. A chatterbox spending too much time talking is apt to miss a thing or two in the process.
In as much as it is good to be observant to ensure that nothing escapes our attention, not every passing thing deserves to be barked at. A body language expert can easily tell when one lies but in other instances it is perfectly in order to let white lies slide. For peace to prevail and to soothe other people’s ego, it is fine to tell them they look good when prompted to respond even if the statement is that much further from the truth. The one who holds their ground and is averse to lying will more than likely be considered anti-social and abrasive. If it’s not life threatening or has adverse effects on your reputation, let it slide.
A while back I once had a cousin who was sick and admitted in hospital. Every day I paid him a visit and spent time with him but for one reason or the other, I opted out of going one day. Didn’t have any special reason not to. I figured I would go the next day and assumed that he will always be there. Such is the fickleness of life. Later on in the evening, my mother and other relatives arrived back and made their way into the house. Everyone was deftly quiet. Even the one relative who barely remained silent even for a brief second hardly mentioned a word as he settled down to sit on the couch. I knew that something was terribly off even though I didn’t want to explicitly find out.
Shortly thereafter, the stillness of the night was broken by a loud knock on the door. I reached for the door knob and opened the door for my father. He assumed I knew already. He mentioned in passing that it has happened and I responded to the affirmative as if I knew what I was saying. Burial plans commenced not too long thereafter. My dad wore a mask and concealed his sorrow. I did the same and it can partly be attributed to the fact that I mirrored his actions. If he acted contrary to how he did, I would have possibly acted the same. Therefore, there are instances whereby one is allowed to wear a mask for the sake of others. Psychologists will argue otherwise and claim that hiding emotions is detrimental in the long run. This could be true but in the words and wisdom of Jay Z song, “I can’t see it coming down my eyes so I got to make the song cry”. Similarly, I’ll opt to pen my emotions and let my writing piece cry instead.
Society tends to have certain expectations and in order to fit in, we have to wear a certain mask. Therefore, wearing a mask and role playing is not too bad after all. Let no one cast aspersions on it. A Doctor who acts like a salesman and talks too much at the expense of listening to the patient might raise eyebrows. Likewise, a lawyer who sits in silence instead of defending their client in court might cost them a great deal and possibly land them behind bars with the least effort. Certain career choices require us to act the part. As a result and for the sake of putting food on the table, we definitely have to pull the mask and wear it as the situation demands. It is thus necessary to bear this in mind as we choose our careers. One ought to be cognizant of the fact that it is vital to pick a field that best suits one to avoid a situation whereby one is forced to put on the mask for a longer period than they have to and can’t wait to get it off at the earliest opportune moment.
One day I was up and about enjoying the sights and sounds of the green city in the sun. Little did I know how close I was to losing my sight. For a long while I reckoned I only needed new lenses and I would be good to go. Too small of a problem did not warrant an all-out response and urgent attention or so I thought. So I kept kicking the can further downstream. It only took the intervention of my wife whom I was with and I obliged to the request to step into the eye glasses store that afternoon. The only reason I agreed to it is that there was no long queue that would keep me waiting forever. It didn’t take long for us to be called into the room where the eye test was administered. After settling in, the gentleman asked me to read out the letters on the screen.
All this while I thought I was looking at a blank screen hence I remained as mute as a fish as I waited for the real test to begin. I studied the reaction on his face when I remarked to the effect that the screen was blank and I knew my goose was cooked. He was pursuing a lost cause. He stepped out and walked back in with another lady. They meddled with the screen and asked me to give it another shot. Her jaw dropped and this seemed to suggest that she was as shocked as her colleague was that I even managed to get there with such poor vision. To cut the long story short, I was urged to seek urgent medical attention elsewhere. New lenses was the least of my worries. In this case, I am conflicted as to whether my observation skills played a pivotal role and came to my rescue or the two were such poor actors in the game of life that they barely knew how to mask their emotions. Will let you be the judge.
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